{"id":1448,"date":"2011-11-01T14:36:16","date_gmt":"2011-11-01T01:36:16","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.vanlubeck.com\/voices\/?p=1448"},"modified":"2015-12-07T22:04:01","modified_gmt":"2015-12-07T09:04:01","slug":"fixed-gap","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.vanlubeck.com\/voices\/2011\/11\/01\/fixed-gap\/","title":{"rendered":"Fixed gap"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><a title=\"Oriana\" href=\"https:\/\/www.vanlubeck.com\/voices\/who\/oriana\/\" target=\"_blank\"><img decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignleft size-thumbnail wp-image-531\" src=\"https:\/\/www.vanlubeck.com\/voices\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/5\/2012\/10\/oriana01potlood600px-120x120.jpg\" alt=\"The sketch\" width=\"120\" height=\"120\" \/><\/a>It&#8217;s a sour fact that me and my parents don&#8217;t have a firm bond. As long as I remember I&#8217;m secretly convinced that I&#8217;m not their biological child, but I&#8217;m sure I&#8217;m not the only one who is thinking so.<br \/>\nOf course when I was younger I made some insinuations, wrapped in a joke or shouted out in an argument, but I never got a clue in return.<br \/>\nJust because of that vague distance between me and my parents I have never seriously tried to find out if my thoughts were true. For some reason it feels a bit ridiculous to do, if you are 37 years old already. What can you do more than what you did as a kid? Force your parents down and stick a cotton bud in their mouth, to swab some dna???<\/p>\n<p>Another suspicious fact is that there are no baby photos of me. The story is that during the messy period after my parent&#8217;s divorce, some photo albums were lost. So, I don&#8217;t know what I looked like as a baby.<br \/>\nThose days my mother had stored up her stuff on the attic of grandmother&#8217;s. Several times I have asked them to get the albums off for me, but there was always a reason to postpone.<\/p>\n<p>Granny died when I was 18 and my mother and me had to clean out the house. That was my chance! But after thoroughly inspecting mum&#8217;s stuff, no albums were found! I was totally upset and mad at my mum at that time.<br \/>\nBut to my surprise it turns out that it is possible to live your life without baby photo&#8217;s. It would have been nice, but it&#8217;s no drama.<br \/>\nI didn&#8217;t think about it anymore.<\/p>\n<p>Until yesterday.<br \/>\nOn the internet I bumped on a picture that made me stare at it for a 5 full minutes. I gasped &#8230; and I knew THAT&#8217;S ME!!!<br \/>\nWell, of course in reality it is not me. I mean &#8230; duh, Afghanistan?!<br \/>\nI could not find a source, so I don&#8217;t know the name of the photographer, but I guess this snapshot was taken not so long ago. At least not 37 years ago.<\/p>\n<p>Anyhow, I printed this beautiful photo, framed it, put it on my shelf and embraced the baby as being me.<br \/>\nClick on it to compare!<\/p>\n<hr align=\"left\" size=\"1\" width=\"1\" \/>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/www.vanlubeck.com\/voices\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/5\/2012\/10\/101oriana800.jpg\"><img fetchpriority=\"high\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-1477\" src=\"https:\/\/www.vanlubeck.com\/voices\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/5\/2012\/11\/fixedgap1a.jpg\" alt=\"Somewhere in Afghanistan ...\" width=\"600\" height=\"800\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<hr align=\"left\" size=\"1\" width=\"1\" \/>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>It&#8217;s a sour fact that me and my parents don&#8217;t have a firm bond. As long as I remember I&#8217;m secretly convinced that I&#8217;m not their biological child, but I&#8217;m sure I&#8217;m not the only one who is thinking so. Of course when I was younger I made some insinuations, wrapped in a joke or [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":8,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[4],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1448","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-oriana"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v27.8 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>Fixed gap - The voices in my head<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.vanlubeck.com\/voices\/2011\/11\/01\/fixed-gap\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Fixed gap - The voices in my head\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"It&#8217;s a sour fact that me and my parents don&#8217;t have a firm bond. As long as I remember I&#8217;m secretly convinced that I&#8217;m not their biological child, but I&#8217;m sure I&#8217;m not the only one who is thinking so. 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